Question: Ever been punched in the mid-section? Even do it just for the hell of it? Provoke someone, take the hit. It's not the need for pain I'm talking about, but the exploration of just what you feel during those moments. Muscles tightening, ribs pushing inwards, skin pinching, nerves flaring and brain altering you to the pain. And what is this pain? For me it's an uneasiness, I'm not a gentle female; walking into something or being hit, slicing myself open, it's more of an inconvenience than actual pain. Mostly me just knowing that I'm injured which may cause limitations for certain things. I often call my body that of a broken one, due to my shoulder and oncoming spinal problems (ones I am hoping do not last), limitations are there already and pain is pretty much been something I've adjusted to even at my still young age. Despite the pain I still do what I can to keep up with combat related material and moving.
Pain is one of the many emotions we feel. "Little feelings" we all share, even those that would be damned to admit so. It bores me when people simplify emotions when they are actually more complex. It usually one of the aspects that bore me with people, why it is so difficult to keep interested in them, to always stay fascinated. The simplicity they make with our state of mind, with what we all feel, it is just leaves out the individuality. It is why my interest in heroes and villains dimmed as I aged, as I saw more and more of them. Heroes, the righteous, halo wearing, do-goody motivated people. And the villains, the evil, uncaring, anti-love people.
See my point?
No?
In deeper we go. Stationed are the basic categories on our "little feelings", which are technically "big feelings"... You'll see, just read. So you know the basics, right? Least I hope. Happy, sad, mad, love, hate, etc, etc. The basic categories we label, but there is more to those basic emotions. Sub-categories.
Happy branches to being glad, joyful, excited, glowing.
Sad branches to misery, agony, suffering, "blue", lonely
Mad branches out to being furious, raging, spietful
Love branches to affection, compassion, adoration, caring
Hate branches to loathing, extreme dislike
You'll look at the other names and scoff, saying it means the same thing as the basic title. That, dear sir or madam, is not true. With love it can vary, affection before a token of gestures, words, an action. No. This is not lust where you see two horny teenagers dry humping one another in public--dearfuckinglord. Don't get me wrong, lust is fun but rarely makes a point sharp enough to scratch the surface of actual passion. Affection can come in small doses, go old school with a fellow opening the car door for the female, a nice gesture. Affectionate words, short, sweet, to the point little whispers of adoration. To an action being that of an embrace or a small nudge of the hand, body language will always speak louder than words, folks. Caring comes on different levels, care for your friends which become like your pack, for your kin it's blood-related even without you liking them, the connection will be there always even if submerged. A lover, mate, significant other, etc. would feel stronger, to the point where it could blind you from the levels of care you have for others. Powerful dose of love there. Ever feel like someone is your soulmate? I used to hear that word all the time in school, wanted to run full speed into the brick walls outside. Carelessly tossed around, granted soulmates exist it is most likely there will be more than one. Does that mean someone you feel connected or to be a soulmate is just that of another failed relationship? No. Soulmate itself is a term most commonly used when identifying a love that cannot be replaced, only can be hoped to be found again in the future. But that's my observation, at least. Personal opinion varies, quite frankly I just don't know what to believe and only take into consideration what I have studied, heard, observed, and well... Gathered in general.
Another example is being Mad, various levels of it. Mad is more like the annoyance, anger is the mad beginning to boil, furious is when you're steaming and well, quite red in the face, and rage is when all hell has broken loose and whoever pissed you off is fucked to the bone.
"Well, J, that really sounded absolutely positively insightful and professional."
Ehhh... Fuck professionalism, I forgot I was writing this blog for a few hours and it's 4:14 A.M. on the goddamn clock. So I'm cutting shit short.
Basically, think about the complexity of emotions and perhaps it will help to better apply self control to your situations. Rather than give the same reaction again and again, you're not going to get much out of life if you don't experiment. Hell, isn't our evolution built on experimenting with new ideas? Rather than whine and bitch about why something isn't going your way how about you try applying a different method. Explore that vast ocean of emotions.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Hell, we're all a dash mad, aren't we? Wouldn't say insane... No, insanity just is. So my suggestion, try doing something different, not just one or twice or three times (because three is not the charm, fuck three) and every time is doesn't work tweak it, personalize what you are doing. You're an individual, you were once a child with imagination and now you're what? An adult or young adult with creativity, no? Hop to it. Use it. Spice up your life.
I'll get into good vs. evil and all that later. I got a request from a non-blogger friend to do a post on affection after she read some different levels of it I've written. At first I snickered off the idea but may go into it. Love vs. hate it may turn into, but if it pleases the damn chick fine. Too tired to continue, my body hurts like hell and I really just want to cuddle up in bed and warm thy self.
Bleh, bleh, bleh, blarg.
Fuck the typos, too lazy to care.
^J's professionalism at its finest hour.
Your motherfucking overlord (inthemaking),
